Dating and disabilities
• Multiple sclerosis: the facts and fictions The cracks began to show when I didn’t let him help me as much as other people.I tried to hide my symptoms, as though I were trying still to be the old me.Mathy Selvakumaran, 24, from Nottinghamshire, is single and studying for a Ph D at Sheffield University.She has a congenital myopathy, which predominantly affects her leg and arm muscles If you met me and I were sitting down, you might not notice my disability – it’s “hidden” to a degree.But I still worried in the early days about ambushing him with all the things I was unable to do myself.I had to ease him into it: I’d kept a lot of things under wraps, just to give the impression of being more independent than I was.My wheelchair is not the most interesting thing about me by a long way, and I find that once I get to know people they realise that and stop treating me like a robot. I met him at university in Oxford and we were friends for a while before it became clear that things were going to go further.
He also had a demanding job and he realised that he didn’t want to give that up or have to support me in the future.
Then a listener texted the show saying, “This isn’t funny.
It sounds like Beccy has MS.” We turned off the microphones.
I also worried that he wouldn’t find me attractive. He’s moved on and I now have a new partner, Alan, who is incredible.
It’s a big thing for a relationship and you have to be strong to deal with it. He knew I had MS before we got together and he’s been more supportive than I could ever imagine. He fell in love with me and accepts everything about me, the good bits and the bad bits. I suppose if I were like it all the time I’d be used to the looks I get. But for all the times MS annoys me, it’s made me think about life in a completely new way. She lives in London with her boyfriend, Will, a researcher.